By Karin Lillian Fladberg and Frode Nagel Dahl, Dagsavisen
– To recognize bullying is a prestigious defeats schools avoided at all costs.
It says author and project manager for anti-bullying work in UNICEF Norway, Kristin Oudmayer.
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After she in 2010 released the book Because I’m Worth It? A book about bullying, hope and responsibility , she has traveled far and wide around and be dragged about inclusion and bullying prevention. In return, she has stories of tearful parents said that life is a struggle to survive from day to day when your child is bullied and tormented at the coarsest, while adults, responsible people deny and belittle.
– I have visited full set gymnasiums in schools where the principal over the PA system expresses the joy that there is no bullying at their school, while parents sitting in the audience and shakes his head. I have witnessed that the principal denies bullying at schools where I positively know that it has circulated serious cases of bullying for a long time, says Oudmayer Dagsavisen.
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Crisis Family
She believes the desire to be seen as successful, and the need to maintain the alliance with the majority of parents are important reasons why it put a lid on cases of bullying.
– In addition the recognition that bullying actually happens at school to take concrete measures both time and resources. In a life where both teachers and school leaders are already hard pressed, are you willing to go pretty far to get away from these matters, tells Oudmayer.
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Despite a year-long anti-bullying work, costly anti-bullying programs and manifesto against bullying signed by several sitting governments, there are currently 17,000 Norwegian students who are being bullied two to three times a month or more. Meanwhile dumps are few complaints into the mailbox in the country county men. Last year they received only 126 complaints, according to the Education Directorate. Seven of them came from Oslo and Akershus.
– Why are we not succeeding better to combat bullying?
– The biggest mistake is that we’re talking about bullying as a school problem, but it really is a social problem. Bullying is too large, complex and extensive that the school can solve problems alone. We know for example that bullying begins in kindergarten where different roles crystallizing. More must be given responsibility at an earlier time and the courage to call a spade a spade, states Oudmayer.
In addition, she believes it is a big problem that many parents do not have the knowledge, information or effort to follow up their rights relating to a case of bullying in schools.
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Think for small children
– Bullying is a constant crisis situation that seems extremely disruptive and exhausting the whole family. It’s about keeping your head above water. When parents at the top of this experience that they will not be believed, it feels pretty hopeless, think Oudmayer.
UNICEF project for anti-bullying work in Norway says to Dagsavisen that many parents of children who are bullied feel that school belittle the problem, and the measures that may be implemented aimed at their children and not against the bully.
– It is much more common that parents not being believed and heard than we speak highly of. For many schools, it is equally important to see that the low bullying figures to good student performance, says Kristin Oudmayer.
Child Ombudsman Anne Lindboe has repeatedly pointed out that adults must believe more in children’s stories on issues concerning violence and sexual abuse. The same applies to cases of bullying, according Oudmayer.
– I think we generally think of little children. We do not hear properly for what they have to say. Much of what they tell is so bad and hurt that we do not take it inwards us believe Oudmayer.
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National bully Ombudsman
After hearing hundreds of bully stories and seen the experiences of successful anti-bullying work, answer Oudmayer so when she asked what three things she thinks would mean a crossroads in anti-bullying work ahead:
– Bullying concerns the whole of society and should be treated accordingly. Secondly; Children rarely lie on their painful histories and should be believed when they finally confides. Often they have suffered for a long time before the story comes to the surface. Also I have a national bully ombudsman who will both receive complaints, monitor them, and to give schools advice and guidance to solve the challenges they struggle with. As through sanctions must ombudsman could also impose measures if necessary, says Kristin Oudmayer in Unicef Norway.
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